Why there Should only be One Have To in your Life

~From my daily writing archives-with edits-1/20/2018~

First of all, there is no such thing as “have to”.

I realize that’s already contrary to the title but hear me out.

Only when it comes down to writing each day which I am doing now does ‘have to’ come into play.

That’s something I say I must do.

I must write.

I go to great lengths right now to make sure that my writing is done. But even then, it’s not something that I have to do.

There is always a choice.

And the choice is always up to you.

And in this article, we’ll discuss the one type of task that should always be a ‘have to’ for you in your life.

So let’s continue…

You control how you will direct your life and no one else. Only you can make those choices.

So where is all of this coming from?

Well funny story, not really but anyway…

I had to get a flight to the funeral this weekend to say goodbye to my best friend (something that ironically I felt that I 100% had to do).

Well, I use one site that I depend on the most.


And with Hotwire, and before I go on, this is not a paid advertisement for this company. I just love their service. Now…

With Hotwire, they have a listing of flights you take. But up in a special section of the site is a thing they call a hot deal.

And what’s great about this deal is that it’s always much cheaper than anything else.

What’s bad about this deal is that…

You don’t know the airline you’re going on.

You don’t know the flight times.

You just know the price and that it’s cheaper than the rest.

You just got to have faith that you will get something good. And in most cases, I’ve gotten a very good deal. I just haven’t always received the best time for flights.

This is one of those weekends.

I have a flight that is smack dab in the middle of the NFL playoffs. The AFC championship game that has my beloved New England Patriots involved in a pretty major game.

I, however, will not be able to watch it on time or at all when everyone else does. I’ll be on a flight at 5pm.

The game starts at 3pm.

And of course, I’ll have to be at the airport around the same time. So I’m screwed!

I’m just screwed.

And guess what. There is really nothing I can do about it. I need to get on this flight. And as much as I would like to see the game in the time it is scheduled, I just can’t.

When most people will see it…

I will have to just suck it up and not see this particular game this time around. Not at that time I want to see it.

You see, the whole attitude of saying I have to do anything is false. No, you choose to believe that something has to be done.

The fact of the matter is that I don’t have to see that game. I don’t have to see any game.

Usually, I would always say, I HAVE TO SEE THIS GAME!

Alas, I don’t have to see that game at 3pm. I can see it later, the next day or whenever.

That’s the beauty of having a DVR.

You can record anything at a later time. So this is a very drawn out story that doesn’t have a strong purpose yet.

But what I’m trying to say is that…

The things you feel like you have to do can no longer be a truth.

The fact is that you don’t have to do a lot of the things you put yourself into these days.

There’s no need to believe that you have to do anything, at any time, for any reason.

You do need to understand that you should focus on the things that are truly important.

So if you say that you have to do the tasks that help you grow, that could only be beneficial.

It’s a challenge. Because you say that “you have to” to so many things in life. Think about it.

I have to watch this game.

I have to go to this party.

I have to volunteer at this event.

I have to help out my friend.

I have to 10x my way to success.

I have to read a ton of books.

I have to write a 100 articles.

I have to post on social media every day.

I have to with EVERYTHING!

It’s a phrase that unfortunately gets deep into our conscience. And it muddies it up.

There are times when saying ‘I have to’ makes sense. It makes a lot of sense.

You have to take that next step.

You have to get past your fears.

You have to make a certain amount of sales calls.

You have to build a bigger network.

You have to develop your business.

You have to create better relationships.

All of these phrases makes sense. Perfect sense. And they are all productive. It’s only when you use these phrases to do things that aren’t productive.

It’s simply not the best way to use this phrase.

So you need to use ‘I have to’ to make you better. It just can’t be mixed with unproductive tasks.

This is what you should do.

Evaluate all the times you say ‘I have to’ or ‘I must’ or anything close to the tasks at hand. Actually, write these tasks down.

Make sure they equate to consistent productivity and growth.

Filter out the tasks that just don’t fit the achievement of your goals. And stick to the tasks that will bring personal and professional growth.

It’s simply that simple. Yes, I said that.

Now that is what You Have to do.

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Bryan S Arnold
Bryan S Arnold writes low rah-rah, on your level stuff that helps you make better decisions in your personal and business life. He's the host of The Get Known Podcast & Author of upcoming book, "The Power of Streaks". When he's not writing, he's singing or binging a bit on Netflix!

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Bryan’s uncommon approach to  to sell helps clients develop the confidence and authority to dominate their field of interest.